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My Bully has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

“The BPD individual, typically a female (yes, that is documented) is one whose mental state renders her a significant emotional, psychological and often physical danger to anyone in her life, and in particular men with whom she becomes involved romantically.” Or the women who come into their exes lives, which has been my case. I met my soulmate and his last relationship has BPD.

So, I wanted to help warn anyone, especially men, that BPD people are very dangerous people. Their agenda is to be mean, evil, and destroy because they enjoy it. “And one other thing must be incorporated into your understanding of the BPD. They are in total control of what they are doing.  There is no organic factor or deficit in self control that causes what they do. Their acts are willful and premeditated. They comprehend the difference between right and wrong, appropriate and inappropriate, truth and lies, reality and fantasy.” They just don’t care. They love seeing others suffer in pain. And if they manage to destroy another as they laugh about it, throw themselves a party. Another person’s misery brings a BPD pure joy.

“Any notion that they cannot help their actions, which you will most frequently hear from BPD’s or the unscrupulous clinicians who profit from their condition by helping them rationalize their behavior, is completely fraudulent.”

They know what they are doing and they enjoy it!”

“Given the absolute potential for devastation that the BPD brings into the lives of anyone unfortunate enough to be in their path, it is pretty important to understand the prognosis for their condition. There is no psychotropic medication that treats BPD and there is no known cognitive therapy that works with them. In short, they have an intractable condition that is impervious to treatment of any kind. They cannot be helped near as much as they can be avoided…”

“There is a running joke among psychiatric professionals about BPD’s. And yes, we told jokes about serious problems. It is one of the ways clinicians deal with the stress of working with them.  Anyway, it’s a simple one-liner.”

“You don’t treat borderlines, you ignore them. Get away from them!”

Go directly in the other direction. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.00. Just get thee…away; chalk whatever losses you suffer up to experience and be grateful about what you could have lost.”

Hear this, and hear it clearly. They are NOT going to get better. Ever! There is nothing you can do, no kindness you can extend, no sympathy you can embrace, no psychological slight-of-hand, nor the culmination of wisdom from your entire life’s experience that you can bring to bear to make a BPD anything other than a major, life draining pain in the ass and a potential nightmare waiting to destroy everything you have, inside and out.”

–credit for this article goes to: Paul Elam an author and founder of “A Voice for Men”, http://www.avoiceformen.com/women/borderline-personality-disorder-sick-or-just-crazy-asshole/

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Adult Bullies

I am middle aged. Something I am proud of. I don’t mind getting old even if the person who has been bullying me for two years now likes to throw verbal insults, like “you’re old, you LOSER!” in my face. I don’t see myself as old. I see myself as wiser and stronger. And when people meet me they can’t believe that I am as old as I am. So for me getting older is a win win situation. But this isn’t my point. The point is there is a middle-aged “adult” bully in my life at a time when I thought such childish behavior would be behind me.

But, some people are so jealous of others, in fact in love with another person’s life that they have to try and cut it down to make themselves feel better. Can you imagine feeling so worthless that you have to terrorize someone else to feel better about yourself? I doubt it works for her, but this is the only resource she has after 49 some-odd-years of living on this planet. Her only skill set is to humiliate and destroy those she has targeted.

The truth is these adult bullies have no life of their own and it makes them angry. But instead of going out and getting their own life, they waste their time trying to destroy another. My bully likes to harass me in many ways. She has verbally threatened to harm me physically. She has verbally thrown hundreds of insults at me, like “you are old, baron, stupid, and a loser,” just to name of few. All of which, I know are not true. Actually what I have come to realize over the years is this, these are things my bully is made of. She reflects her own inadequacies onto me.

After two years of enduring this bully and doing research on bullying, I can now start to separate myself from it and find the humor in it. Humor is the freedom from any tyranny. My conclusion, my bully is in love with me. This acknowledgement comes from deep within me. The soul knows. This may seem odd, but love has many meanings, one of which is affection based on common interests. Our common interests, my bully wants to be my Facebook friend, my Instagram follower, my Google+ follower, at my home when uninvited, you name it. She is lurking and constantly trying to infiltrate all of my social media and personal life. She really is obsessed with getting a reaction out of me to validate her control.

And yes, I have to admit, she did get me to react, but that was after a year and half of her continuous bullying. I mean, even Mother Theresa would have reacted. We are only human after all. And the research shows it is a natural reaction to want to stick up for yourself. So I reacted exactly how she wanted me to with anger because I was scared. And then she turned it around, got a lawyer, and claimed she was being victimized by me. She is a sneaky mentally disturbed lady. What I should have done was confronted her openly which is recommended. Confront them, with support, an advocate, and ask them to stop.

After two years of researching bullies and examining my own experience I have concluded, my bully is so jealous of me and wants my life so desperately that is has become an obsession and love affair with her. My good life makes her so angry, and since she can’t manage to fulfill her own life she is “hell bent on ruining mine.” My adult bully feels better belittling and threatening harm to others, since usually an adult bully has many victims. Know you are not alone. I can see now, she really has a deep desire to be me. She wishes she had my successful career, my creative talents, and most of all my ability to be in long loving relationships. I know this because she constantly refers to the things in my life as insignificant, while trying to boost her own. Like I care what she has or doesn’t have. I just want to be left alone.

You know when you have those ‘aha moments’ that seem to come from a place higher than yourself? Ever since I had this realization, I am starting to feel better about my situation that will probably be in my life as long as I reside where I do. I realize this bully is not me. The things she says, are about her. I will not take on her troubles. And neither should anyone out there terrorized by a bully. Just realizing a bully is in their own world of anguish, which has nothing to do with you, will make you feel better. And confronting them is empowering. Just make sure you have someone there to support and protect you, if needed. You may find it will stop. You may find it gets worse, which was my case. Yet it has made me realize, my worthy life really bothers her. She is weaker than me. Hate, as powerful as it seems, is always weaker than just.

Tips for stopping an adult bully

Remember their motivation: “Adult bullies act out for the same reasons that kid bullies do; they’re trying to make up for some shortcoming of their own.” But the adult bully has gotten much better at hiding what they do, since they have developed a diagnosable personality disorder, so:
•    Separate yourself from them, if possible
•    Stop playing the victim, meaning don’t react back
•    Take a stand, meaning confront them with preparation and assertion
•    Tell someone who can help, get an advocate
•    Document the abuse

Related articles:
•    How to handle being bullied as an adult
•    Beware of the criminal hiding behind God

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Easily train developers on secure coding best practices

New threats and cybersecurity risks are being developed and conceived of every day. With cybersecurity threats on the rise, companies look to their developers as a first line of defense when it comes to application security. Without proper security, hackers can easily access applications and steal private data—putting your customers and business at risk.

Large corporations invest millions of dollars to keep their organization secure and safe from potential threats. Unfortunately, investing time and money has little impact if developers don’t understand their role in the security plan and don’t have the knowledge to act out the plan in place.

Gaining skills through training

More often than not, developers aren’t always thinking about security when coding an application. This lack of focus poses risks and creates the potential for vulnerabilities within the code. By offering training opportunities to your developers, you can help them learn to think securely during the development process. Thinking securely is key to avoid making mistakes later on. By investing in training, developers also gain a valuable skill that will help them increase job productivity. In this sense, training helps reduce vulnerabilities before they happen and saves time and money if something does happen in the future.

Getting developers engaged in training

The most challenging part of implementing a security training program for developers is getting them engaged with the training. Common issues that developers site, include: training interferes with work and deadlines, the courses are not relevant, and why do I really need training?

Human error accounts for 52 percent of the root cause of security breaches, according to a new study from CompTIA, which surveyed individuals from hundreds of companies in the U.S.

To overcome these issues, employee commitments need to be taken into consideration during the training process.To engage developers, it’s important to work with them. Training is an ongoing program, and learning to balance training and deadlines is mandatory for success. With role-based online training, you can specify which modules suit certain employees to make sure the proper courses are being offered to the right people. By informing employees about their role in regards to software security, they will be more likely to understand what’s expected of them.The 2015 Stack Overflow Developer Survey tells us 45 percent of developers have six or more years of experience. These results lead you to believe that there are a large number of inexperienced developers who likely don’t have much application security knowledge. About 42 percent of developers are also self-taught, which means they may not know even the basic best practices of application security.

Implementing application security training for developers starts with understanding the needs of your engineers. Reduce vulnerabilities and risks within your organization by rolling out a computer-based training program to your developers.

Get started today with HP Software Education’s Application Security curriculum for developer security awareness.Security awareness turns your biggest liability (your staff!) into your biggest asset. You can read more on how to make your non-IT users more security aware here.

Source: Easily train developers on secure coding best prac… – HP Enterprise Business Community, written by Anita Parrish.

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No Justice for victims enduring bullies

Today a victim of bullying was in court as Plaintiff vs. the Monster with the presiding Judge I-Don’t-Care. The Plaintiff was seeking a Protection Order (PTO) against the Monster for 8 months of relentless bullying. The Plaintiff had evidence, that could reach the top of Mount Rushmore, no pun intended, of constant threats and stalking in both her personal and cyber life. The Monster has been threatening Plaintiff’s family too! Monster lied under oath, stating she didn’t know Plaintiff.

The injustice is the Plaintiff’s story wasn’t heard because Monster brought a lawyer. Plaintiff didn’t have a lawyer. Monster’s lawyer, the other Monster, interrupted the Plaintiff continuously, lied under oath also, and Judge allowed this behavior to happen. In the end, he listened to ranting lies versus seeking truth.

Courts in the U.S. seem to be a joke. Justice, these days, seems to be lost. He made his decision based on no physical harm. Two women fighting, bullying, cat fight, harmless, erotic, or something like that. His only concern was whether the Plaintiff was on the lease of where the bullying happened. My question, “Are you on the lease at a grocery store or on the street? What about the office building or restaurant?” Seems anyone can harass you unless you’re on the lease.

Bullying and stalking anywhere is illegal, immoral, and just plain wrong last I checked! He dismissed all of the cyber harassing, all the uninvited trespassing, and the stealing and destruction of property. Monster laughed afterwards promising Plaintiff she is making a career out of bullying her with the intent on destroying. Just so you know, Monster is 5 foot, 160 pounds of cankles and bulbous fat, even after $30,000.00 in liposuction surgery, with skunk-streaked blond hair . She was born on July 13th, Friday the 13th, how ironic.

Just so you will know, Plaintiff has hundreds of documentation and messages from Monster that Monster will get Plaintiff. And the Plaintiff was granted no protection except for the hopes of filing again – dismissed without prejudice. “What until Monster really hurts you before we will take you seriously.” was my conclusion. Meanwhile, Monster continues to be a monster.

For information on combating bullying go here.
On a related story go here: Beware of criminal hiding behind God

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